While driving I came upon a jersey cow
VERY close to on the shoulder of the road and it scared the crap out of me. It turns out it was tethered in some one's front yard, but goodness it was scary for a minute there!
Since when does wearing some white face paint and grubby sweats constitute a Halloween costume? (if you're not even going to try then, NO NO I'm not going to give you any of my candy!!!)
At what point do you, think, "Self I've run out of house painting options. I know!, Let's just paint it argyle"? (seriously there's a house painted in argyle around the corner from me.)
And last but not least...
You might be a redneck if: you know which gas station to go to for the "best" beef jerky, and "I'm not afraid to tell ya!"